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10 Ways to Stay a Loser

1.) Dwell on Your Mistakes

That’s right. Let them eat away at your dignity, self-esteem and mind. It’s almost impossible to have a winner’s mindset when you are still obsessing over your last mistake. Keeping all of those failures fresh, there’s no way you can overcome and be victorious now!

2.) Keep Comparing Yourself

Everywhere you look and everywhere you go, measure yourself against somebody else. “How does Janet do it looking that good? What about Lindsay, her life is so much better than mine! Oh, I wish I was as smart as Danielle…” Yup, some good ol’ self-comparison will kept you on your loser game.

3.) Stay Isolated

Just save the embarrassment and don’t leave your house. It’s simple! Don’t talk to anyone, don’t go anywhere, don’t even call your BFF to complain…you don’t know why she’s your BFF anyway. Sticking to yourself is the best way your losery won’t rub off on someone else.

4.) Wallow in Self-Pity

While you’re alone, don’t forget to pity yourself. A “poor me” attitude is a must to staying a loser. Let’s face it; having to let go of what you’ve done means having to forgive yourself and move on. Who wants that?!

5.) Loathe Happiness

Caution. After your pity-party, you may want a joyful boost. Don’t do it! How can you even think of being happy after failing? Keep all that happy, go-lucky-laughing-feeling amazing stuff out! In fact, every time you feel the need to be happygo back to step one. Your pride depends on it!

6.) Shun Growth

I’ve heard some winners say that “once you fail, you can learn from your mistakes and grow into a better person”. Ha! You don’t want that, right? You’ve already worked so hard to isolate yourself from people and stay in your own negative bubble. Don’t go ruining all that just because some happy hippies are trying to convert you. Why change? Sounds like more hard work to me…

7.) Encourage Verbal Abuse

Come on, break down that self-esteem even more by allowing yourself to blow up and call yourself names. Every good loser knows how to beat themselves with their own words…don’t be any different.

8.) Lash Out

Pull them in with you on this, better yet, wear your anger over your failures on your sleeve. That way, whenever a friend tries to send you a cute text message or your boyfriend/husband tries to cheer you up with hugs, you can easily push them away. You definitely will never be a winner if you hurt someone else!

9.) Seek and Destroy

After a while, this whole process is going to start to fade! To prolong it, try hard to stay in your loser funk. When someone is a winner, they tend to stay away from negativity and surround themselves with daisies and lillies. Instead of watering the positive, get out your garden shears and start hacking away!

10.) Do Absolutely Nothing

One final thing you can do to guarantee that you will stay a loser is nothing. Zilch. Nada. Sit there and think about what you’ve done. Don’t try to make yourself feel better by doing things you love. Winners always do that!

There you have it. By following these 10 things, you can bet on staying a loser for a good part of your life, if not all of it. Beware! If you don’t follow these things, here’s what can happen to you:

– You’ll be able to let go

– You won’t care about what others do

– You will surround yourself with positive people

– You’ll gain a victorious mindset

– You’ll learn from your mistakes and be better

– You’ll experience true joy

– You’ll start hugging and being sweet

– You’ll start building yourself up and other people

– You’ll start telling yourself that you can do anything

Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you…

(this post is meant for people who have a sense of humor and who are not perfect. please don’t take it seriously…the entire purpose is to apply reverse psychology, not to encourage negativity. laughter has healing powers, beauty. smile!)

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